Ash - Nurse Sarah

[Laraqua]

As if on queue, one of the silhouettes steps forward, its breathy whispers filling the air. One can barely make out any of the words until the last bit: "....in the bomb shelter".

[Mr. Handy]

"That's me!" says Lionel. "I remember this part. I was talking about how we found the hole in Brianna's head in the bomb shelter. I heard what Ronald just said too. I didn't understand what had happened to Brianna, and I was coming to comfort her and to try to find Sarah. Next I'll say 'Ronald, Brianna! It's me, Lionel!'"

"Daddy!" says Sarah to the approaching figure. She takes one step forward and waves. "We're all right, Daddy!" She looks back at Ronald and Brianna. "If he still can't understand me, you two and Dahlia will have to explain things. Maybe all of us should go into the library together. We might be able to see and hear each other as we really are in there."

[trixie]

Brianna resorts to snivelling and wiping her tears, and lags back in the rear, away from the rest of the bunch. She'll hang back as far as Ronald will let her, and clings to his hand, still feeling sorry for herself. After a while her sniffles turn into hiccups.

[trixie]

"How come they can't hear you guys? " Dahlia inquires, approaching the figure curiously.

[DSIGFUSS]

Ronald approaches slowly with Brianna in hand. He shines a flashlight at the ghosly images, more in defense than anything else.

[Mr. Handy]

"The other me is talking to you now, Dahlia," says Lionel. "He doesn't understand what's happening, so you'll have to explain it to me - I mean him. They can see and hear you, Ronald, and Brianna clearly, but not the rest of us. Agnes is worried that we might really be monsters, and she suggested that I ask you a question that only Sarah would know the answer to, to make sure it's really her. I remember now. I asked her mother's maiden name."

"Lunsford," says Sarah. "Her name was Beatrice Lunsford."

"Yes, that's right. You look so much like her, Sarah."

[Laraqua]

"So, we can only see those we have already meet. Unless the others are monsters in disguise, and only we can see them by their true form, but it's better not to think of that... Lionel, ask something that only your daughter would know," says a woman's silhouette, her old-fashioned dress becoming somewhat more solid beneath Ronald's flashlight.

"But we haven't met Dahlia since this started," says a voice they recognize as Lionel, but younger, coming from one of the other silhouettes. "I'm not really sure what's going on or why we can't hear anyone else. If they're disguised, it's not a very convincing disguise." He faces Dahlia and smiles at her, speaking up. "You're Dahlia, right? I know I've seen you during your stay at the hospital, and I also remember you from a vision of the future I had when I was in the bomb shelter with Ronald, Brianna, and Agnes here. I was with you in a room with chemicals, and there was ash around us. Sarah mentioned when she called me that you got out of the hospital with her in a helicopter and you were on your way to a military base, but I don't know what happened after that. I heard Sarah's voice earlier, but I can't see her. Is she with you? If she can hear you, then you three will have to relay our speech back and forth. Can you ask Sarah what her mother's maiden name was, so I know it's really her?"

[Andrew]

Cael looked at Brianna as she pounded on him like one might look at a gnat buzzing around their head. She was small and couldn't do much damage but it was annoying never the less. What troubled Cael the most was the lack of remorse he had for shooting her in the first place. Perhaps he had really lost all sense of humanity, killing a child was one of the worst things you could do, even as a soldier but to Cael it was just a part of the job, a means to an end.

As Ronald took her and threatened him, Cael just smiled, there was no warmth or emotion and his eyes never showed anything but coldness. "Don't worry. I don't shoot anything unless I have reason, so don't give me a reason again and you'll be fine." Cael stated dryly.

Looking around at these shimmering silhouettes made Cael a bit nervous but he kept his finger off the trigger but rested near the trigger guard, this was not a good place to hold a conversation. "Look can we move this chat elsewhere? Standing out in the open like this is the worse idea I can think of right now. If it was a nice day and the only thing we had to worry about was bird shit than no big deal. However today even the birds aren't out... if they exist anymore."

[Mr. Handy]

Sarah feels her heart wrenched apart by Cael's words. "Cael, please don't talk like that!" she says. "Don't you realize how much you've hurt her?! Don't you realize that when you hurt her, you also hurt me? Brianna, he's not going to shoot you again no matter what, I promise. He wasn't thinking straight when he did it, and he didn't know what he was doing. When you burned us and I passed out, he thought I was dead. I know you didn't mean to burn me. You only did it because we were scared of you and we tried to tie you up...just like Louie did. I'm so sorry, Brianna. If only I'd been a little stronger, I would have been able to stay conscious and then I could have stopped him from shooting you, stopped him from shooting anyone. If only I hadn't been stupid enough to be tricked by that stupid distorted message from the future." She blinks away her tears and brightens a little. "Now we can make it never happen. If you tell Daddy - the younger Daddy, the one in front of us - everything that happened, and why it happened, he'll be able to prevent it. Let's move this conversation indoors, yes. We should all go into the library together and talk there. Please tell them that, one of you."

"That's me all right," says Lionel. "And that's Agnes. I don't think we understand yet that I'm my older self. Tell us what Sarah said, that her mother's maiden name is Lunsford, and tell me I'm me from the future. Then tell the other me to think of a number, any number, but not to say it yet. I'll tell you the number I'm thinking of and you can repeat it to me, so I'll know I'm me."

[Andrew]

Cael gave Sarah a confused look and said, "If she turns into some sort of monster you better believe I'm shooting her and for two reasons. Protection of anyone around and to put her soul at peace. Anyone turns on the group and I will not hesitate to kill them as I hope you would do the same for me. Plus if she tries that fire crap on me again I'm shooting. I haven't lived through all the Hell I've been through by letting kids set me on fire and I've never been trained nor do I believe in just knocking out a hostile, you eliminate them..." Cael stated and then finished in a softer tone more for himself. "I just don't understand how she lived through the first time, I saw her brains fly across the room. Fucking weird shit man."

Cael then shook his head, he knew he was on edge and was getting tired of having to apologize for being a soldier. Civvies only loved you when you were saving their ass, other times they want nothing to do with you or want to change you. Looking past Ronald to Brianna, Cael squatted down and cleared his throat. "I don't plan on shootin' no one I don't have to. I'm not one to apologize and I won't for the incident before but I'll explain it to you later if you care to hear why I shot you." Cael looked up at Ronald and then back to Brianna and added, "I know what it's like to get shot, I know what it feels like to spit up more blood then you thought your body could hold, the cold feel of death coming over you and then blackness. I don't know exactly what you went through but I know the ride and it plays a bit differently for everyone. I also know that especially for someone your age it can be quite the mind fuck but as time passes you'll see it more like a badge of honor. It'll be the one scar you have that will never let you forget what happened here and how you survived through it."

Cael stopped and looked at her for a moment, looked straight into her eyes and said, "I also believe in an eye for an eye. Say the word and I will hand you my pistol, all you'll have to do is put the muzzle to my forehead and squeeze the trigger."

A small voice in the back of Cael's mind cried out, "Are you fucking insane!"

"Yes but shut up, I know what I'm doing." Cael calmly replied out loud so the others could hear.

[trixie]

Brianna stared at Cael coldly, holding her mouth tight so it wouldn't quiver. Did he really just say that!

"Give me your gun." She said it like she meant it, holding her hand out palm up. Her eyes flickered up to Ronald uncertainly.

[trixie]

"Waaah???" Dahlia stared at the situation in disbelief, then went to stand behind Sarah, peeking around her as though afraid for her life.

[DSIGFUSS]

BRIANNA!

Ronald looks down to Brianna pleadingly and then back to Cael. He shrugs his shoulders.

[Mr. Handy]

Sarah can no longer hold her tears back. "Cael, you're breaking my heart!" she sobs. "Brianna is not a hostile! You are not going to shoot Brianna if you think she's turned into a monster! For crying out loud, she thought you and I were monsters when we first met, and that's why she burned us - and we bloody desreved it for what we did to her! The people at the library see us and Daddy as monsters too! We can't trust our senses any more, only our hearts, and my heart has nothing but love in it. You don't know the half of what Brianna's been through, but I do. I felt it all, lived through it all in the space of seconds. I don't know how she survived either, but I'm so glad she did. I thought she was dead too. I felt her die. I felt me die! When I realized that I'd gotten Brianna killed, it broke me and that's why I recorded that stupid message in the first place, even though I knew it would be misinterpreted. And if you ever do try to shoot Brianna, I'm going to jump in front of the bullet and you'll kill me instead - so don't do it! I told you, use the dust if you think a monster is attacking. It hurts them but not people. All the guns in the world wouldn't have even scratched the Hound, but the dust forced it to flee and would have destroyed it if it had stuck around.

She takes a deep breath and faces Brianna. "Brianna, honey, I know how hard this is for you, and I know what it's like to kill someone. Every time you do it, you lose a little piece of yourself." She glances back at Cael, who she knows is missing many pieces, then turns back to Brianna. "I understand why you had to shoot Dr. Sutcliffe, and I know how you felt when you did it. I had to kill someone once too, and I'm never going to kill anyone ever again. His name was Lyle Hamilton, and he was my boyfriend once, but he only wanted to control and possess me. After I broke up with him, he went completely off the wall and start stalking me. For months he would follow me around, leave notes and text messages for me, call me all the time. He wouldn't leave me alone and I was terrified of what he would do to me. Then one night he tried it. I was asleep in bed when he broke into my flat and he...he grabbed me and...he was going to...he tried to force himself on me...I still don't know how I fought him off, but I did. I didn't want to kill him. I tried everything else first. I tried talking him out of it, I tried running away, but nothing worked. In the end, I had to take a kitchen knife and...he came at me so fast...I didn't even think about it, I just...the knife went right into his heart, and he went down. I even tried to save him afterwards, but it was too late. A part of me was glad he was dead, glad that he wouldn't still be alive with another chance to get me, glad that I wouldn't have to testify about the awful things he did to me during his trial, and glad that he got what he deserved. I know you felt something like that when you killed Dr. Sutcliffe. But it's a horrible feeling, and we must never forget what it means to take another human life. Because if we forget, we really do become monsters - even if we don't look like it. Please, whatever you're thinking of doing, don't kill Cael. There's still good in him, and he's worth saving. If he died, it would break my heart all over again. And if you do try to shoot him, I'll jump in front of the bullet and you'll kill me instead - so don't do it! Don't try to kill Louie if you ever get the chance either. We've both lost our innocence, and if you go down this road of revenge you might get so lost you can't find your way back. I know how angry you are at them, but if you keep killing, you'll become just like them."

Lionel nods. "Fear leads to anger," he says. "Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Beware the Dark Side, Brianna."

[trixie]

"Now you're sounding like Louie," Brianna remarks darkly to Lionel. "He used to call me padawan."

Sarah's words seem to have fallen on deaf ears. She stands in front of Cael with palm still outstretched, waiting for him to hand his gun over.

OC No more conversation til Andrew has a chance.

[Andrew]

Cael smiles, locks and loads his pistol and thumbs off the safety. "I am a monster kiddo, I am the man that parents warn their children about, take the gun and empty the clip into my skull. You will do the world and yourself a favor." That said with a pistol ready to fire, Cael slaps it down into Brianna's small hand. "Kill me and your pain will be over." Cael stated in a very calm and low voice.

"Idiot! What the fuck are you doing? She's going to kill us!" The small voice in Cael's head screamed.

In a louder voice than he had been speaking to Brianna, Cael replied. "I hope she does kill us, then I won't have to listen to you anymore or all this mushy, nauseating, touchy feely crap anymore." Turning to look Brianna in the eyes Cael said in a bit to encouraging of a voice. "Do it kid, let your hatred of me fuel your desire to see me dead!"

[Mr. Handy]

"I'm not Louie," says Lionel, more confused than usual. He clutches Sarah and won't let her go, determined not to let her try to interpose herself in front of the gun. "Brianna, don't do it! I love you as much as I love my own daughter. Sarah is right, listen to her."

Sarah weeps, tears flowing down her ash-flecked face. "Brianna, if you shoot him, your pain will only get worse! I know, I've been there! I got all those people killed back there, and I'll never recover from that. It's my fault Morrison and the others are dead! It was the only safe place, and I ruined it! I destroyed the whole world!" She clenches her eyes shut, unable to look. "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

Lionel hugs Sarah tighter. "It's not your fault, Sarah, it's not your fault. You've got a very good point, though. Brianna, the best way you can get revenge on Cael is by not killing him and forcing him to live with the consequences of his actions. That's the real punishment. Anyway, if you kill him he'll turn into a zombie and eat us all. Oh, Ronald, please do something!"

[DSIGFUSS]

Ronald waits... wondering what Brianna will do.

[trixie]

Brianna clutches the gun, trembling, and raises it slowly to point at Cael's chest. The weight of the gun was not what she expected, however, and she struggles with earnest to keep it up.


"You shot me when you were afraid. And then I shot Dr. Sutcliffe when I was afraid of her and what she was going to do to me." She begins, her eyes meeting Cael's with coldness, "I could do it, right here and now. Except that I'm not afraid of you, Cael" She looks back at Cael, a smile playing at her mouth, as she clutches the gun tightly, then lowers it and engages the safety once more "Well c'mon, you didn't really think I'd do it did you? Killing one doctor was enough. And Ronald would never let me forget it. But I'm keeping this for now so that you can't go all power hungry and shoot poor old Lionel in the heart. I don't trust you Cael. Not even a little bit."

She turns on her heel and approaches the door to the building. "Let's get inside."

[Mr. Handy]

Sarah opens her eyes and smiles again. "I'm proud of you, Brianna," she says. "Come on, Daddy, let's go in and talk to your younger self. It'll be nice to see Jill again, and good to meet her husband Charlie and Agnes. Remember, they can only see and hear Ronald, Brianna, and Dahlia clearly. One of you has to tell them what we said."

"Who was going to kill me?" asks Lionel. "Oh, you mean him me, not me me." He puts an arm around Sarah and walks with her, following Brianna to the library.

"Don't forget to tell them that I said my mother's name is Beatrice Lunsford, and to ask Daddy's younger self to think of any number he wants so we can prove his future self is here."