Statement 4: Back to School

As a London copper, I’ve seen some pretty weird shit, but even I was taken aback when I learned that magic was actually a thing. Real, proper magic, with spells and everything!

Also, ghosts are real! And vampires, trolls, fairies, river gods… and there’s this whole subculture of weirdos and half-fae… oh, and don’t get me started on talking bloody foxes…

Shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Metropolitan Police secretly know all about this crap. There’s the Special Assessment Unit, run from this posh house called The Folly by a posh Detective Inspector called Nightingale (and his apprentice Peter Grant), that investigates supernatural crimes and other weird bollocks. And it turns out, they’re recruiting…

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Re: Statement 4: Back to School

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”We can split up an’ look for ‘er,” suggested Des. ”But I don’ tink we’ll find her ‘til school’s out.”
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"DBS check??" Skipper looked from Eli to Des then back to the rest of the team. "I don't think they issue DBS checks in Transylvania. Or even Wales 120 years ago. I think you'll also find she doesn't have an email address, a tax file number, an NHS file, or a Netflix subscription."

"But, if we're killing time till school's out, by all means let's go see DS Fun Sheriff. And if she wants pointless interviews done in the meantime, that's a job for you plods."
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Des scowled. ”It’s a process of elimination, innit?” she snarled. ”Jus’ like if we wos to ask u questions to eliminate any possibility of intelligence.”
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It had been a good idea by Des. But yes, it definitely seems like Lollipop Lady Anubis would be incredibly unlikely to have any kind of background check.

"Even if they're glamoured to hell and back, any witnesses might still remember something, if we can get through the mesmerisation. Still worth questioning anyone we can, and then we come back here to grab Mrs. Evans when she's working. For a quick chat, I mean, not to grab her into the back of a squad car. But yeah, reporting in would be the best approach for now."

Izzy is well used to the sniping between Des and Skipper by now...
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Skipper rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored Des. "What I meant was, if you're talking formal interviews, like taking a statement for a criminal prosecution, I believe that needs to be done by a sworn plod. Of which we have precisely two. Otherwise, it's going to raise some questions in court or at the coronial, innit?"

"If you're talking informal intel gathering interviews, well Eli's done one terrifying librarian - which should count as about five normal interviews - and I've done one council admin minion and three old dears."

"But can i get back to the basic question? Do we need to stop her? Should we? No one has gone missing who didn't basically have it coming."
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"Morally? No, there's definitely a case to be made for leaving her be. But legally? Yes, we need to stop her. It's basically vigilantism, with extra flair. Where do you draw the line? Otherwise you may as well just let every shopkeeper carry a shotgun and do whatever they want to people who try robbing them, or ask people to dole out justice on criminals themselves. No need for the police at all. And then everything just becomes chaos."

Though, privately, Izzy is more than happy to leave Mrs. Evans to deal out proper justice to the worst offenders, like the ones who try messing with kids and that sort of thing...
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"We also have to consider that, the way things work here currently, there's no closure," says Jordan. "Everyone thinks the people who disappear have escaped and gotten away with it, and countless police resources are spent looking for fugitives they're never going to find."
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Skipper shrugged. "Folly's paying the bills. If that's what the decision is, that's what we do."

"Assuming we can stop Lollipop Lestat, drive a stake through her heart or whatever, what did we think the current chances are of locating and returning Short?"

"Anyway, let's go see your sergeant..."
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It's a short walk along Grove Street to the police station, which is on the same side of the school (meaning there's no need to cross the road thankfully).

As you stroll into the car park, a number of police cars screech out onto the thoroughfare, blues and twos blazing. Stepping inside, you find a scene of organised chaos, with uniformed coppers rushing hither and thither.

In the midst of this bustle stands DS Singh, huffing with annoyance. Upon seeing your arrival, she marches towards you, focussing her attention on Izzy and Leo.

"There's been a bad accident on the new dual carriageway," one of them explains. "I know it's not your usual job - nor is it mine - but it's all hands to the pumps. The boss wants to know if you can you stay here and keep the peace. Keeping an eye on the town for us will free up some more uniforms apparently."
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”An accident, or someone gettin’ de plods outta de way?” said Des quietly.

Raising her voice, she asked, ”Wot cause de accident?”
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Leo straightens his tie as he crosses they cross the car park. He's glad he doesn't skip leg day in the makeshift gym he and Peter set up in the basement.

He smiled warmly, looking around at his colleagues. "DS Singh, I'd love to help out. I don't want to speak on my colleagues behalf, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
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"I can help anyone injured, I'm a doctor," says Jordan. "Just point me to it."
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Looking to Des, Eli says, "It does seem like a coincidence, and regarding the disappearances, the crooked councillor aside, no one seems to have been trying too hard to find the others."
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Skipper looked over at Izzy and Leo with Singh, and raised an eyebrow. "You two broomstick-jockeys aside, we're not even special constables. We have no police powers unless the Folly has organised something and just not told us?"
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"Initial reports suggest a lorry driver on his phone while driving," says DS Singh, with barely disguised rancour.

"Thank-you for the offer Doctor Schneider, but a the paramedics will have reached the scene by now and an air ambulance has been called."

As another officer rushes past, she turns to address the two DCs.

"The desk sergeant will stay at the station and will contact you if he gets any calls. By all means continue your investigation but don't stray far. You 'civvies' can just... I don't know, keep out of the way I guess."

She checks her phone and grimaces.

"I need to brief the guv'nor. Try not to call me unless it's desperate, okay?"
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"Yes, ma'am," says Jordan, though he thinks he could still do some good at the scene of the accident.
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Kicking your heels in the station at least gives you time to go through the witness statements.

Not that it's worth much - everyone tells the same story: one minute Councillor Short was barging across the road, the next minute he wasn't. Strangely, there's no statement from the lollipop lady.

Speaking of which, you're also able to carry out an exhaustive search of the police records for any mention of Mrs. Evans. While there are many relating to other Mrs. Evans-es (Evans being a very popular surname in Wales), there are none referencing the one you are looking for.

By 2pm, frustration is perhaps getting the better of you. So when the desk sergeant pokes his head into the office you are using, it is something of a relief.

"Um, I guess this should go to you, what with everyone else at the accident. A neighbour has just reported someone acting suspiciously outside Councillor Short's house. Reckons he's 'casing the joint'."
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"Sounds like we should check it out," says Jordan. "It's probably the same neighbour we spoke to earlier."
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”’Oo else is gunna be lookin’ around ‘is gaff?” asked Des. ”We got someone else involved in dis?”
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"I don't know," says Jordan, "but we should definitely find out."
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