OOC

[Priest]

Please talk freely over a cup of synthicath, safe in the knowledge that this place is provided by your friend computer for free, intelectual discussion

[Dave Syrinx]

"Am I an original or a clone of an original? That is the question. Would I know if I were an original or would I assume I were a clone? This is deep, indeed.

Reporting for duty. What´s on the to-do-list. Oh, Great COMPUTER?"

I think I dress well in red...

*Picture and sound have been eradicated by the COMPUTER*

[Mr. Handy]

I ran a few homebrew games of Paranoia in high school that I still remember. In the first game, a squad of troubleshooters had been deployed to the wasteland outside Alpha Complex via whatever the helicopter-like thingy is called and had mysteriously disappeared. The players' squad of troubleshooters had been sent in an identical aircraft to the exact same location to try to find out what happened to them (the hard way). It turned out that the original squad of troubleshooters had turned on each other and been killed one by one as a result. Somehow, the PCs managed to avoid killing each other, found out what had happened to the other troubleshooters, and made the dangerous journey back to Alpha Complex (the aircraft had, of course, crashed). The second game was a murder mystery, and the troubleshooters were led by an NPC who just happened to be the next clone of the murder victim. The troubleshooters never solved the case and managed to kill every character involved in it (including the aforementioned mission leader) except the actual murderer! I guess she just seemed so nice...

[TheVaultTech]

I love PARANOIA (and the Computer of course!) so much.
It was the first TTRPG I ever played, and I'm glad it was. With a good GM, it can easily be some of the best fun you can have- in my opinion.

*loyally enjoys a bowl of HotFun*

[Mr. Handy]

Now I remember. It was a Flybot. I had named the adventure "Have Flybot, Will Travel." Getting back to Alpha Complex wasn't the end of the adventure, either. Then they had to find a way back inside, through passages for which they did not have the proper security clearance.

[Priest]

"Welcome brave, loyal, non-treacherous citizens. Your commitment to the computers needs are noted and will surely burn like a beacon to your more timid co workers"( Voice of the computer, a subtle blend of Ronald Reagan, Bill Cosby and that guy who advertises pet food on channel 9)

The following characters will be available. Please choose one, once chosen the full character details will be pm'ed to you.

Monty-R-JRL-2
Male CPU Team Leader

Francine-R-CAN-1 - The Vault Tech
Female PLC Loyalty Officer

Rob-R-RAE-1 - Syrinx
Male IntSec Equipment Guy

Ola-R-WRM-1- Kabukiman
Female HPD&MC Comms & Recording


Brannon-R-CDC-1 - Mr. Handy
Male Armed Forces Hygiene Officer

[Dave Syrinx]

Rob-R-RAE - 1, for the win. Robbery Я'US, I´d be the equipment guy.
Only items rated "R" for you.

[Dave Syrinx]

And, NO! It doesn´t say RUS in the end, promise...

[TheVaultTech]

Francine-R-CAN-1 reporting for duty!

[Priest]

"Congratulations on a wise choice. Rob-R-RAE-1 is on his way to you" (Voice of the computer, now a honey sweet mix of Jane Fonda and Marilyn Munro. Additional dialogue by Scooby Doo)

[Priest]

Francine-R-CAN-1 reporting for duty!

"Congratulations on a wise choice. Francine-R-CAN-1 is on her way to you" (Voice of the computer, still a honey sweet mix of Jane Fonda and Marilyn Munro. Additional dialogue by Scooby Doo)

[Dave Syrinx]

*Walks over to the Pneumatic Tube Mail (PTM) and waits for the swoooshy sound.*

[TheVaultTech]

*Drinks a can of RED B3*

Fun fact: I actually did a bit of voice acting for a PARANOIA mmorpg (the dev, a friend of mine, has since vanished after the game files were completely erased by a harddrive crash or some such- for the third time)
I still have the files for some primordial B3 jingles!

Edit- If anybody's interested in some voice props for commercials for their PARANOIA games in the future, or anything, found the files:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/bihuc20oilsn ... srcza?dl=0

[Dave Syrinx]

Got to love Terry Gilliam. (Brazil, 12 monkeys and The Zero Theorem.) He IS Paranoia!

[Mr. Handy]

Brannon-R-CDC-1 reporting for duty, friend Computer!

I've never even heard of The Zero Theorem before, but I have to see that one. I agree, Terry Gilliam is awesome!

[Priest]

Brannon-R-CDC-1 reporting for duty, friend Computer!

Coming to a friendly infotube near you.

[kabukiman]

Ola is here!

[Priest]

Ola is here!

Welcome Ola-R-WRM-1. The Computer (your dearest friend) predicted you might choose her

[Priest]

++++++Greetings troubleshooters
I hope to get the assignement started soon, once we, hopefully, have a full compliment of players. Whether this is before the holidays begin or after is your choice.
Please remmeber that PARANOIA is a tabletop role playing game, and things that you can do face to face may not quite work on a forum, perversity point usage for instance, or note passing. However I, as a fair and well balanced GM, will do my best to give you, the player, the full PARANOIA experience.
Please be aware that I am not deliberately picking on you, if at any stage you are reduced to tears, feelings of inadequacy and insignifficance trust me it is nothing personal, I merely reflect the feelings of your friend the computer.
If, at any stage of these proceedings, you wish to complain about your treatment. Please write a complaint in triplicate, mark the envelope 'for immediate attention, deliveree will wait for reply' and deliver it to the room next to the Alpha Compex Termination Centre on level four.
Thank you for your attendance, Priest-GM-Voice of the Computer. +++++++

[TheVaultTech]

Praise the EMPRAH!
No, wait. Wrong tabletop.
Hail the Friend Computer