FINAL CHAPTER: Cecilia: Room With A View

[Seon]

"Alright," Jack said, pretending to be nonchalant, looking straight into where her eyes would have been. His expression was indecipherable.

[Kadael]

Fine. Don't make this any easier.

"Why?" Cecilia sighs, her hands quivering. She picks up another cookie, just for something to do. "I'm not the most..."

She pauses. He knows about everything she could possibly fill that blank with. And somehow, he's apparently fine with an unstable, irresponsible single mother whose husband just left her, who's almost completely dependent on others, who's not the sexy flirt in a suit she was ten years ago. Obviously, that's not important. To him.

So instead, she cuts that sentence short and begins something else. "I thought you said you hated me."

[Seon]

"Yes," Jack said. "I... I guess I did say that," he chuckled.

He wiped away at the perspiration on his brow. "God, this is... this is silly... I guess..."

He paused. "I don't know what to think about you," he said finally. "Ever since I met you, I couldn't help myself but feel..." his voice trailed off. "And I... I didn't know why. I guess it just works like that, doesn't it? I... I didn't feel in control of myself anymore. That's why I guess I thought I ha..."

He shook his head. "I was just confused. That's all. I... I didn't feel this way towards another person before..."

[Kadael]

That makes some amount of sense, though she can't help wondering. No one? He did say he's never had a girlfriend...

"Jack, what am I going to do?" Cecilia throws the cookie back onto the tray and leans against the counter. "I- I know you're a good person-" not counting the murder threats and insanity "-and I really do... like being around you..." except when you're trying to kill me

"But, God, my life is a mess, and I don't know if I can deal with any romance again, and I can't forget him." Who 'him' is probably doesn't need to be said. "And what about Katie-" you did make some nasty threats "-and my therapist! Hello, Dr. Jameson, I completely ignored what you said about dating after divorce! My new boyfriend tried to kill me three times!"

She stops for a moment to consider that conversation. That might be worth it, if only for the look on his face.

"I just don't know, Jack. I don't know if it's... safe. For either of us."

[Seon]

"But... I can help you!" Jack said. "I... I know life's kind of turbulent for you right now... I can help you get past it... I..."

Jack sighed. "I want you. I'll never leave you behind..."

[Kadael]

"People like us, trying to solve each other's problems..." Cecilia shakes her head. People like us? When did she start thinking like that? "You really think that works?"

Acknowledging her own failures and faults is something she's been trying to avoid her whole life. Now they're all lined up in front of her, waiting to throw themselves back. Does that mean anything? It makes her feel sick.

"Do you know who else told me that? That he'd never leave me? 'As long as we both shall live,' he said." The words sound hollow, now. Images and words threaten to overwhelm her, as though she could escape into that day and relive it over and over again. "D-do I seem dead to you? I can't tell, Jack. Maybe I would be, if he'd let me--"

No. That's too much. Go back.

She presses her palms to her eyes, trying to blot it out. To make everything go away. Will it ever work?

[Seon]

Jack stood in front of Cecilia and then wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him. His body trembled half out of desire and half out of fear. Fear of messing something up again. He had screwn up so many things in his life. He didn't want to fail this as well...

"Shut up," he whispered softly into her ear. "You don't look dead. Don't even think about that..."

[Kadael]

"H-he lied to me for years," Cecilia says, sobbing into his shoulder. She wraps her arms around him, feeling the bandages under her fingers. "I loved him, I really did, and I was just something to hide behind!"

Dr. Jameson says crying is a healthy release. But it's just proof that you're not good enough, right? Good people don't need a 'healthy release.' Especially not with witnesses around.

She's known people who have lost so much more, and yet they're so collected. They don't burst into tears or get hostile when they talk about it. Why can't she be a strong person like them?

"Now he lives in a quiet little house near the beach. With people who love him." Cecilia holds him even tighter, her eyes stinging and her nose running. "And every morning, I wake up in a bed that's too big for one person. My daughter says that I never do fun things anymore. I can't even take a vacation without screwing it all up."

"I don't want to do this all over again, Jack."

[Laraqua]

The kitten mews plaintively, locked in a tight embrace, and chews on Jack's thumb.

[Seon]

Jack suddenly pushed her away.

"No... No... This... This feels wrong...." he muttered. "We just met... You've just divorced and... This... This is probably a natural reaction to being in a stressful life-threatening situation..."

If he was even alive, that is.

"And... And..." he said, shaking his head. "You deserve better than some stupid bartender... Oh hell... I... I love you so much.... This isn't fair..."

Then, catching sight of her eyes, he hugged her again and pecked at her cheek. "That was silly of me, not abiding my own philosophy... If you want something, just go for it..." he kissed her this time. "I... Won't let you be alone, Cecie," he whispered. "I promise..."

He lay the kitten down on the counter. "But why are we discussing this in the kitchen?" he said, eyes twinkling. "Let's go feed the kitten and... We could talk more in the room."

[Kadael]

It does feel wrong, but does that matter now? They're in a good place. A safe place. It's so easy to imagine everything turning out for the better.

She still doesn't trust him. But it's so nice to have a focus; something to anchor herself to now that Katie will be gone. It should make her worry about his commitment and his promises, but all of that seems to melt away.

So Cecilia kisses him back this time. Perhaps a bit too aggressively; not out of desire, but because she's so used to taking the lead, coupled with the lingering fear that he'll leave if she's not good enough.

She smiles when she pulls back, still holding him tightly. It's a sincere smile, for once.

"All right... but I see that look in your eyes. Just talking." Cecilia almost laughs, but settles for a grin. Someone who actually might try something. It's a strange feeling.

[Seon]

Jack chuckled and walked along with her towards the Meat Locker and opened it. Cats ate meat, right?

[Laraqua]

As Jack starts opening the meat locker door, he catches sight of a swinging figure with long blonde hair and bloated, peeling skin.... The smell strikes him moments later. Cecilia's not at the right angle to see it yet. If he shut the door and walked away, the mood wouldn't be killed. He could lie and say it was empty, after all.

[Seon]

Jack immediately closed the locker. "Oh god, that smells bad," Jack said, chuckling. "How old are these meat anyhow? 6 years? Puh."

He turned to Cecie. "Let's go somewhere else."

[Kadael]

Cecilia wrinkles her nose. "That's strange. Those cookies are fresh, and I just ate some schnitzel out in the restaurant..." She dismisses it as another aspect of this empty hotel. Spoiled meat isn't that much of a concern.

She nods in agreement, walking back to the counter to grab the tray of peanut butter cookies and dump its contents onto the other tray. "Can you get the kitten? I want to take these with us."

[Seon]

Jack nodded as he picked up the kitten whilst shoving one of the cookies into his mouth. "Arhfnsi..." he paused, took out the cookie, and said "Maybe they'll have something for the kitten in the gift shop or the basement..."

[Kadael]

Cecilia shrugs. "I don't think they sell stuff for cats in gift shops. Maybe the basement first, and if we don't find anything, we check the map again."

Before she turns to walk out the door, she briefly shifts the tray to one hand (it's a bit unwieldy) and gives Jack a one-armed hug. This whole business makes her nervous, but the atmosphere of the hotel has a way of calming things down.

[Laraqua]

As she heads out of the restaurant, it soon becomes apparent that the food on the table has been re-set. Now it's a few shaved slices of glazed ham, complete with roast vegetables, and a glass of sparkling white wine.

[Seon]

"Oookaaaay," Jack said, munching on the cookie. "Do you think that this is too convenient?"

And can kittens eat glazed ham?

[Kadael]

"Yeah, kind of," Cecilia says, staring at the food. "Did you hear anybody out here while we were in there?"

OOC,It mostly depends what it's glazed with, but they probably shouldn't... maybe if the glazed bits were torn off. I'm not a kitten nutritionist. Nutrkittionist.