CHAPTER TWO: Jack's Journey: Admissions

[Laraqua]

It's not far until he reaches the lighthouse door. Opening it, he can hear the faint strains of humming coming from the top of the lighthouse.

[Seon]

Jack hummed a song of his own, as if replying to the voice at the top, as he ascended the tower.

[Laraqua]

The steps slowly lead him ever higher until finally he reaches a door set in the wall that will lead him to Ash.

He can hear her humming clearly now, coming from the circular landing outside.

[Seon]

Jack opens the door and stumbles out into the frigid air outside. That non-descript yet friendly face that somehow stirred familiar memories in others were gone, replaced by a calm yet haunted expression. His coat gone, the torn bartender's shirt was now not sufficient to hide the numerous layers of bandages that now covered most of his body.

[Laraqua]

"Couldn't find your sister?" asks Ash as he rounds the balcony. She turns to glance over her shoulder and her eyes widen in alarm. "Oh ... it's you." She turns to regard him, one hand lightly pressed against the rail. "You found me. What next?"

[Seon]

Jack said nothing for a long while before leaning against the wall.

"No fucking clue," he said. "I hoped that coming here would solve at least some of my problems... but it didn't. I honestly have no idea what will happen from now on." He looked blankly into the fog with empty eyes.

"You came here before."

[Laraqua]

"And I keep coming back," murmured Ash. "I'm too scared to jump. Too scared to stay."

[Seon]

"And so, every day, you descend the stairs to the ground, back into the realm of the living, if you can call it that," Jack murmured. "You feel that your entire life's a lie. Whenever you talk to someone, you feel a twinge of guilt. You try to smile, even though you are unhappy. You pretend to be strong when you feel vulnerable. And that's tearing you apart. You haven't felt happy in a long time... until..."

[Laraqua]

She tossed him a sultry glare and pouted. "And when was this?"

[Seon]

"I was talking to myself," Jack said. He stood up, dusting his pants. "I am the greatest liar the world has ever known, Ash."

"I pretend to laugh, when I am actually angered."

"I pretend to be happy, when I am actually sad."

"I pretend to cry but no tear comes out."

"I tell others to find something worth living for, when I feel that my own life's an empty husk."

"I tell others that the world is a beautiful place full of hope, when I have seen that it's a dark place full of death and evil."

"Are these not all acts of dishonesty? There can be no forgiveness for my deeds, but I will ask for one anyways from you."

[Laraqua]

"Why would you need forgiveness from me?" she asked ruefully. "Other than a little back chat in the jail, you've been just fine. I - I don't know about you. Or I do. I tried to call out to someone who would help me ... I just needed to dial a number ... it all seemed so simple. But then, nothing really is, is there?"

She gazes out across the lake.

"If you could have one thing from me, what would it be?"

[Seon]

"Nothing but a conversation, I guess," Jack said. "There are so many things that I know, yet so few that I actually understand."

"First things first though. Who was Jack? Who remembers him?" he said. "I remember him, as if he was a different person. He's just a foggy recollection of a life that seemingly never happened. Half the time, even I don't know who I am."

[Laraqua]

"How do you summarise a human being?" she asked quietly, her hands tightening on the railing. "I wouldn't know where to begin. I didn't know you incredibly well. Rochelle would no more. Or others... You went away for a time to the city to study, I think. You talked a lot, a bit like you do now, with a series of tangents questing to the single question, and you were lively, but you were also ... focused. Now you're a live wire, raw, and I never know how you'll react. I think we've met a few times though the last time we met, in the cells, I only recalled that you were from the pub and that you were.... Yet now I remember more. So strange, this town, so strange...."

[Seon]

"Same way that I feel," Jack nodded. "I didn't know you when I first... appeared... in this town. Now I remember you. Know so much about you. It's as if the town conjures up details to suit some obscure plot, so what am I?" Jack giggled. "Some figment of somebody's sick and depraved mind? A ghost? Some kind of concept made flesh? I don't really know anymore. Perhaps it doesn't matter in the end either. I am what I am now, and that's nothing."

Jack shrugged. "I'm jealous of you, in a way."

[Laraqua]

"Me?" She looks suspicious. "Why?"

[Seon]

"Because you have a choice," Jack said. "You can just choose to jump over and end everything. If somebody blows my head off I just come back."

He sighed.

"Not a pretty way to go, by the way. Can't have an open casket funeral for all your friends and families to come gawk at your corpse. Those government-paid funeral make up artists are pretty damn skillful too. I once overheard one of them wishing for more business since they were wasting tax-payer money by just sitting around doing nothing. It's a crazy world we live in. Probably wouldn't matter so much soon enough for you."

"You know, I'm not gonna disapprove or approve of your actions, but could you just tell me why the hell you want to off yourself?"

[Laraqua]

"Childhood trauma, mother murdered my older sister to appease whatever dark gods she happened to be worshipping at the time, tried to live a normal life away from all this but just couldn't bring myself to believe in it, then I finally teach another woman how to live at least a little bit and her daughter goes off and drowns herself," Ash sighed. "Just not sure what to do after all that. This place seems a bit hard to escape as well. Not sure if offing myself is a possibility though."

[Seon]

"That particular lesson didn't really stick, yeah..." Jack said. "But is the daughter really dead?"

[Laraqua]

"She was in a coma, last I heard," says Ash. "Her mother had seen glimpses of her in her dreams and waking reality and somehow, somewhere down the line, she became a believer and started looking for her. It didn't seem so strange to me. I'd grown up around here. So I encouraged her. I think she's passed through here a few times but things feel different now. They've changed. I think she's found her ending."

[Seon]

"She did," Jack said. "I was with her as long as I could." Jack pulled out a single tarot card, queen of hearts, from his pocket and flung it over the railing, watching it flutter away into the mist. "She's still out there somewhere. Or perhaps she escaped. Nevertheless she's no longer at home. Never will be," Jack sighed.

"What kind of a person was your sister, Ash?"